Your mother was a French horn and your father smelled of gargoyles
13th February 2003
 
This action-packed update introduces the all-new Planet Jerky Jerk Cam. Now you can see me, Mr Jerky, sit in front of my computer screen LIVE! And if all that sitting wasn't exciting enough on it's own, you might just catch me picking my nose or scratching myself! ANYTHING is possible on the Jerk Cam(!)
 
And don't forget Jerky's Journal and the slightly-updated Planet Jerky F.A.Q. As TV's Dale Winton would probably say: Check it (them) out! Check it (them) out!
 
Mr Jerky AKA Fingers The Clown
 
 
Tuesday 4th February 2003:
Get this; Mr Agus saw DIRK BENEDICT. Yes, Dirk Benedict, better known as TEMPLETON "FACE MAN" PECK from THE A-TEAM!!! It's true! I am expecting a written report on the event from Agus anytime soon, so watch this space, guy!
 
Friday 7th February 2003:
At the pub, some guy (who I hadn't spoken to since we were kids) kept trying to hug me. He was quite drunk, and I politely informed him that I do not hug men because I am not a homosexual. He then said that if I don't start saying "hello" when I see him, he's going to throw me out of a window. I'd better start saying hello then.
 
Saturday 8th February 2003:
Went out to the pub again for some reason, and had a predictably dull and boring time. Why do I have to go out for entertainment when I can stay home and look at stuff like this on the Internet?
 
Monday 10th February 2003:
Had a feast of cakes at work. We seem to get free cakes every other day, as no occasion is considered too small for a celebration. Someone also brought in mini chocolate bars which appeared to have been endorsed by maniac chef Ainsley Harriot. For reasons I cannot explain, this just seems wrong to me.
 
That's all for now, there is more coming soon. But until then, I think John Becker put it best when he said: "Get out of my office" and "Get a life".
 
© 2003 MR. JERKY