ARCHIVE 2007

Fuck swords
11th November 2007

Howdy, gaywads. Another month has passed, which means it's about time I got my arse in gear and my shit updated before a riot breaks out. So here is a brand new update which I really hope...

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World Egg Day Special
12th October 2007

Welcome to the World Egg Day special edition of Planet Jerky. Go ahead, help yourself to one or two. I was originally going to do a six-year anniversary update, but figured eggs needed...

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September Update
17th September 2007

My Internet connection decided to stop working for no fucking reason and I had nothing better to do, so I figured it was about time to write an update. So I did that and then I managed to fix my...

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There are dozens of us! Dozens!
12th August 2007

Greetings, shit-receptacles. Welcome to my Internet Planet. It hasn't been updated in almost two months because I've been far too busy sitting around the house and staring at the walls. I...

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Invest in aggregates, shitbeak
20th June 2007

Attention hosers, bozos and blingwads respectively! You are reading the June edition of Planet Jerky, the only website on the internet that'll leave you shitting jizz for a week! I...

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Rammin' it home
17th May 2007

Welcome to Planet Jerky, the place to be if you want to read, at length, every detail of my tedious life for the last six years. And come on, who doesn't? Some jizzhole probably, cuh. Speaking...

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It keeps you jumping!
29th April 2007

Following my recent exposure of Pointz and his evil ways, it wasn't too long before I saw this message posted on MySpace. I assumed this was a joke, until Pointz confirmed that it was necessary...

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Damn your eyes!
26th March 2007

Welcome to Planet Jerky, the internet website that certainly isn't unlike a Mini Mall, apart from in every way possible. Here, we have everything you could possibly want, providing everything you want...

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Episode 108
22nd February 2007

After weeks of intense combat, Archibald Moncrieffe has been defeated. And in spite of Moncrieffe's pleas for Jon Wine to "finish [him] off now", Wine refused. He explained that by killing...

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The latest update
4th February 2007

Following his escape from the fiery pits of Hell, of which he claimed could not restrain him, Moncrieffe is wasting no time in his pursuit of world domination. He has challenged "Earth's Greatest...

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Moncrieffe 2K7
21st January 2007

Greetings, shit-fans! I hope you renewed your rape insurance for the year ahead because Planet Jerky is back on your screens and accidents will happen. Specifically, accidents that involve the...

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© 2007 MR. JERKY