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ARCHIVE 2006
The Christmas season is upon us once again, that wonderful time of year when PJ experiences a small influx of visitors searching for "santa fucking" videos. I suppose that's the price you pay for...
As I'm sure you're only too aware, today happens to be World AIDS Day. This will be shortly followed by the joint Scatman's Death of AIDS Anniversary* and UK AIDS Day the following Sunday. That's if...
After months of construction work, Ted Danson and Scatman John's eagerly-awaited Monument To Rape has finally been completed. The monument towers thousands of feet above the city skyline...
Oh hi! If you're not already prepared to crap your pants, I suggest you hurry up and get prepared because you're about to read Mr Jerky's latest vaguely Halloween-themed shitfest. This year...
It would seem that perverts are now stumbling across my brilliant website by typing "handjobs" into search engines. I assume they all leave as soon as they realise "Planet Jerky" is not a...
"Oh look, Mr Jerky has updated his site for the first time in yonks and expects us to still give a shit about whatever it is he's banging on about now" is a thought you may be thinking. And you'd be...
In recent news, Scatman John has ditched both Jon Wine and their combined efforts to rid the world of corruption in favour of forging a new alliance with Jon Wine's arch nemesis, Ted...
So take off your hat, scat music and all that wacky stuff. Welcome to another shit-crammed installment of your favourite website, Planet Jerky. In recent news, the two Jo(h)ns; Jon Wine and...
I've often said that if rape were a person, I would be that person. Rape personified, the human embodiment of rape if you will. But fortunately for you, rape is not a person and I am still Mr Jerky...
In recent news, the Dutch football team have announced that they're "on the road to gold". And they're going to try and win the World Cup as well. What the fuck is it with Dutch people and gold...
I hope you've got a rape-whistle pal, because Mr Jerky is back on your Internet with another dose of his Trademark Shit! Now that I've got you pumped with that exciting sentence... I don't know how...
It may surprise you to learn that I'm not a big fan of being made the bearer of bad news, even if it is about seven years late. The Scatman may be dead, but his beat lives on! Or something to that...
If full-flavour behaviour is a crime, then lock me up. I'm The Internet's Mr Jerky and welcome to the latest edition of my award-winning shit. Unlike me, you wouldn't know full-flavour behaviour if it...
It has come to my attention that some of my readers believe "Hornbunkle" to be a fictional character that I just made up. Now, I have a reasonable understanding of blingwads and...
Get bent and welcome to the latest instalment of your new favourite website, Planet Jerky. You'll be pleased to hear that I found this on my referrals list the other week. Typing phrased questions...
Terrorists, your game is through! I've decided to update my shit one week after my last update because you won't be expecting it and I'll have the element of surprise. You are free to complain...
Referral statz have become a source of daily reading for myself, providing an insight into the sort of questions that plague the souls of mankind. I think it's really great how some people do not...
I was looking at Planet Jerky's statz recently, and I'm a little bit concerned. After all the hits from people still searching furiously for "Gaqspace" on Google, the amount of traffic I receive suggests... © 2006 MR. JERKY |
Rape the halls
AIDS Weekend Special
Rape or be raped
Bluemont Six
Sir Digby Chicken Caesar
Danson on the ceiling
Get raped
Scat's where it's at
You raped my hat off!
2006, it's Swiss o'clock!
Turn off that damn rape music!
Buy your kids a fucking stick
For closers only
I got Pac Man Fever (AIDS)
The spiders can't help you now
Your arms are broken!
Drink Lenin's piss
Send more bees