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NEW STUFF OLD STUFF
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ARCHIVE 2005
Speaking of orcs this Christmas, they are currently celebrating "Winter Veil" in Azeroth. This is probably due to the absence of an Orc Christ, but at least they won't offend any politically correct...
It has come to my attention that people are mistaking comment-enthusiast "Orc Pointz" for myself, and think I've been spamming my own comments box. I advise those people to please...
At the behest of that crazy dutch bastard Oswald, I've updated my fucking shit. Contrary to what he just said, I do not actually know the specific kind of "trouble" he was referring to, but IT PROBABLY...
Welcome to The Planet Jerky Fourth Birthday Spectacular. Tomorrow, "PJ" will be four years old. Oh wow! I'd drone on about how I'm really surprised it lasted this long, or how I should've...
Freak Power would have you believe that some people "been driving to fast", and for the most part, they are right. Which brings me nicely to my next point: Recently, that Dave guy has been...
I've been doing some thinking, and the one subject I don't touch on nearly enough is this: Orc Points. So in light of their previously unsung glory, I have declared the first in a series of Planet...
Hello. I am The Internet's Mr Jerky and I live my life in single-minded pursuit of Orc Points. Planet Jerky is a website where I document the many adventures that occur as a direct result of my...
Hey, guy! If you like Fucking Shit and its updation, Planet Jerky is the website for you. My name is Mr Jerky and I am a motherfucker. Apparently. Are you still following me? This is another introduction...
New things this update include a new blog-esque "comments" feature, which you will find at the bottom of this page. Today will be remembered in history as a victory for those who like things to...
I don't usually take requests from my readers, but The Internet's Benneth INSISTED that I bring his perverted fantasies to life by creating this disgusting image of him getting sodomised in his...
That Dave guy made contact the other day and told me that my somewhat vindictive picture of him last update was in fact "hilarious". Fair enough. So by that logic, the picture on the right will really...
Even though I despise you with every ounce of my being and would genuinely like to see you get murdered in the most horrific and painful manner possible, for reasons I have long since forgotten...
And that's not even a joke. Good morning! The time has come for another episode of the world's most-exquisite website, Planet Jerky. In the news today: Agus has ditched plans to update his...
And your boyfriend only goes out with you for the cheap haddock. Oh hi! Welcome to another edition of my favourite website, Planet Jerky. Other websites I like include The Totally Agus...
Hello there, you filthy, disgusting homo. Stop putting your penis in other men's bumholes for one second and hear this: You are currently reading the latest update of a glorified blog that is called...
Good morning, you fucking gentlemen. Allow me to introduce myself: I am the one known as Mr Jerky and I come from The Internet. Welcome to this Easteriffic edition of my excellent website, Planet...
Before you hear any wild rumours, I've moved the entire site to new and better server. I know this doesn't really make much difference from where you're sitting, but that doesn't matter because...
Anois fresin, motherfucker! In case you haven't already noticed, you are currently trespassing on the latest edition of my excellent website, which is entitled Planet Jerky. You will find that Planet...
Oh, hello there you life-burgling obstacles. Welcome to this: The latest Planet Jerky update, or as Gaq would probably say, "up date". That kid needs to learn that update is just one word. Two... © 2005 MR. JERKY |
I say when it's Christmas
My lunch was in that hat
You will be sorry
Put a sock in it, blingwad
Orc Ponce more like
Orc Points Special
There'll always be milk
Merry Shitmas, Pedro!
Dinner with Dinenage
Golden Shovel of Justice
I will shatter your dreams
Back off you hoser!
I want to hit your face!
You sir, are a fishmonger
Buy a new couch, you rich...
I like to shit in dustbins
Yeah yeah funky yeah
Big Ben is full of citric acid
You are a coward