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NEW STUFF OLD STUFF
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ARCHIVE 2003
Today, I bring pointless news that The Internet's Planet Jerky has now been running for over two years now! Yes, it's birthday was on the 10th of this month. You'd think I would have given up by...
Welcome to PlanetJerky.co.uk! The same self-indulgent tripe, but now with an easier-to-remember URL! Of course, you can still access the site using the old address, but why the Hell...
Wheeeee pop-me-do, you plain-featured youth. I have made a few alterations that will affect those of you who enjoy reading old news. All the "classic" Planet Jerky updates have been...
Welcome to Planet Jerky. I haven't got anything new or ground-breaking to tell you in today's introduction, so I'm just going to tell you to go to Jerky's Journal, like I do every update. Also...
Gather round, custard gannets and welcome to your latest fix of Planet Jerky. For you this update: Yet another instalment of the critically acclaimed Jerky's Journal AND a new Article entitled The...
Be-ba-ba-do! Be-ba-ba-ba-do! Hello and welcome to another long-overdue edition of Planet Jerky, you fucking infidel. Why am I not as regular (with updates) as I used to be? That's none of your...
Good morning, you bloated museum of treachery. Welcome to the all-new advertisement-free, non sell-out Planet Jerky! As some of my loyal fans have noticed, I have once again been late with...
Hey there, you breeze-chatting reprobate. I haven't updated the site in a while because I have been too busy stabbing people. But to reward/punish you for your patience, I have...
Greetings, Jerkheads! Sorry about the lack of updates recently, my computer was destroyed by imbeciles. It is "sort-of" fixed - For now anyway. Read Jerky's Journal for more information. Do you...
Good agus to you, Jerk Fans! This update of Jerky's Journal contains a new Article for your brief reading entertainment: The Saga Of PEN15; A compilation of classic (old) news and information...
Hey relax, feller! You look like you could use a rest and some kraft dinner, guy! Not much new stuff today, just your standard Jerky's Journal update, but don't forget to point your browser this way...
This action-packed update introduces the all-new Planet Jerky Jerk Cam. Now you can see me, Mr Jerky, sit in front of my computer screen LIVE! And if all that sitting wasn't exciting enough on its...
Mr T: Be somebody
Hey you! You with the teeth! Come here. Come over here. That's better. Now I can see ya. You know me? Of course you do. That's because I'm famous! And even before I was famous I was...
Seeing as Planet Jerky's "buddy site" Ben's World is now (In Ben's own words) "defunct", the massive sell-out Mr Jerky has stepped in to shamelessly promote his new album; "Beards...
Mr Jerky now has his very own Internet connection! This means Planet Jerky will be updated whenever if feel like it, mainly with installments of the Jerk-tastic Jerky's Journal...
Good morning! Welcome to the second part in a new era of semi-regular Planet Jerky updates. See, I said I might be back and I am. So what kind of tasty treats does your Uncle Jerky have for you... © 2003 MR. JERKY |
John Becker is a doctor who...
Bring it on, you headless freaks
I am the Eggman, that's what I am
I ain't afraid of no goats
Whopp it 'aaat
I am Goldust, you are not Goldust
I hope you leave enough room for...
Proton Enhanced Nuclear...
Yes, I am Salvador Dali
We came here to gamble, but not...
There's a party in Mianus and...
Your mother was a French horn...
Pull your pants up, Triple Gay
Shamone, muddy funsters
Jerk for freedom